---

By Lynne Elwinger, O.C.D.

Viewed with the eyes of the Spirit, the desires of our hearts become patterns of grace, a gift from our God in whose image we are made. We are born of God's desire for us. Perhaps our very desiring is but a tiny reflection of this greater desiring which birthed into existence the entire creation.

Implanted deep within us and universally found in all earth's peoples, regardless of other differences, this ability to desire and to be aware of our desires seems to have an intimate connection with the divine-human encounter. Our desires may be intended as gateways to the divine presence within and among us.

Deeper Life With God

As children, our awareness of our desires is immediate and freely expressed. Before long, however, this freedom of expression is curbed by others or merely by the encouragement to break out of the self-absorption natural to infancy. We may, in the process, learn to tune out or repress the desire images and messages arising within us. Later, in the growth toward adulthood, many of us somehow internalize the idea that to live in a sacred manner we must "overcome" desires, that we must not "give in" to them. Or we learn that only certain "holy" desires should be cultivated. Seldom do we learn to simply notice the desires we are experiencing, to honor them, and to learn from them.

Our desires are the many-hued threads of God-life on the looms of our lives. As we begin to pay attention to these desires, even the small ones, and to remain faithful to this practice, we begin to see patterns emerging. Fuzzy and incomplete at first, these patterns will gradually become clearer, more whole. In time, we begin to see the interconnectedness of the patterns, which reminds us that we ourselves are connected to the larger web of life on earth. The patterns we now recognize arising in our lives show us something of the unique divine designs within us, rendering visible our own inner gateways to a deeper life in God. This can be a profound tool for discovering more about ourselves and about God, and can lead us to a deeper inner spiritual life.

We Meet God

No desire is too trivial for this study and there are many approaches that may be used. It is easiest to begin with the more superficial desires which are quite recognizable. Can we identify them and become aware of their specific natures and the core issues at their roots? Can we get a feeling for their effects upon our state of mind and heart? Can we find ourselves led from the more surface desires to the less visible yet even more powerful desires of our hearts? Can we see where our desires are disordered (self-centered, inappropriate) and seem to lead only to feelings of discontent, sadness or confusion?

These desire messages are arising from the mind of the heart and provide important information about our current state of being and our hopes and dreams. This information is not available from the thinking mind. If we can stay in the experience as opposed to merely thinking about it, we are sure to move into a greater awareness of divine presence and of the divine-human encounter. In the very act of desiring, we meet God on common ground. Our desiring and God's desiring become one. We find ourselves in the grasp of a desire much greater than our own. New insights come to us. New understandings break into our awareness, and we have a new sense of well-being. The experience of these transfiguring moments can work a profound change in our lives.

Our desiring may be, after all, God's desiring in us coming to fruition. As unique to us as our genetic materials, our desires become the network within which we find God. Our task is to be present, to be open to infinite possibility, and to be free to be vulnerable. The Spirit of God can then lead us into the wholeness we desire as we journey into the heart of God.